Things that have been renamed since JJ came along

Sweeping...."Save the pile" Because JJ wants to sweep too and she just doesn't think that my pile is good enough and wants to rearrange it.

Napping..."Jump on Daddy's face" Self-explanatory.

Peeing..."Hurryuphurryuphurryup before she grabs the bowl!!!!!!" That one sucks in particular.

Waking up..."Daddy!!............Daddy!!...............DADDYDADDYDADDYDADDYDADDYDADDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Diaper changing..."No!!!! Don’t put your hand in it!” Self explanatory.

Giving her food…” 75-25-0” 75% on the table, 25% on her face. 0% in her mouth.